Co-regulation is the foundation for children to learn self-regulation

Kids who are having a hard time regulating their bodies when big feelings arise don't need punishment or shame tactics. They need support.

Two quotes that I live by:

“Children aren’t giving you a hard time, they are HAVING a hard time“

and #2,

“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”

-LR Knost

It’s our job to be a safe place for our kids to FEEL. And HOW can we do this?

Create a warm environment where all feelings and emotions are allowed. This involves validation, modeling awareness, regulating your OWN emotions.

Next time your kids whine, sound angry, frustrated, sad, overwhelmed — PAUSE and see that your child is not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. Create that safe space for them to FEEL.

With tools and support, we really can love our way through these uncomfortable feelings.

Regulation is a skill, and to teach it we start with Co-Regulation.

Try this new skill: Co-Regulation

Co-regulation is defined as “warm and responsive interactions that provide the support, coaching, and modeling children need to ‘understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors’”

Download my FREE Co-Regulation Workbook to Get Started

What's your prescription for calming down?

• Yoga

• Meditation

• Breathing

• Animals

• Taking a walk

• Getting in water

• Nature

• Get a drink

• Ask for help

• Essential Oils

• Coach yourself

• Ask for a hug

• Listen to music

• Stretch

• Crystals

• Counting

• Draw a picture

• Squeeze a stress ball

• Something else???

Now take something from your list and help your kid do it! Easy? Easy! Kinda…

“Co-regulation is a precursor to self-regulation. If adults are deregulated, children learn to be dyregulated as well.”

-DR. ANN-LOUISE LOCKHART

Some Tips for Co-Regulating

• Hold Space (this happens inside YOU)

• Expect that hard behaviors will happen

• Choose to approach it with emotional intelligence.

• Set that intention.

• Use a quiet and calm voice

• Get down to their level

• Sit next to them

• Establish routines (predictability helps kids feel safe and secure)

• Validate child's feelings

• Soothe your child

• Offer hugs

• Gentle rocking

• Offer help

• Supportive silence

• Use "Safe Place" (sign up for co-regulation workbook and get the safe place one in the 2nd email)

Download my FREE Co-Regulation Workbook to Get Started